She said her name was "party"
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Operation Purity has been aborted
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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