I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
