I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
