I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Randomize
