i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Randomize
