remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
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