when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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