So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
