yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
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