I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Randomize
