SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
