did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
