This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
