omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
