cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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