I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
