Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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