i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
