Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
