CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Alive.
So much puke
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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