OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
