HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
