1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
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