We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Randomize
