If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
