Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Randomize
