It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
