p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Randomize
