If i come over, it means nothing
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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