last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
