So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize
