I need to stop coming to work sober
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
