You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
how does that bad decision feel?
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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