I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Congratulations! We have a period
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
