Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
