Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
