Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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