I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Randomize
