Christians are straight up FREAKS
Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Randomize
