i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Randomize
