id be glad to
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
