ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
