The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
