You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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