I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize