turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
