some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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