K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
they're like a gay fantastic four
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
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