I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
