there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
